More Than a Paycheck: A Woman’s Journey Through Education, Work, and Motherhood

Have we ever truly asked ourselves—what does education mean to us? Is it a degree? A paycheck? Or simply the joy of learning? Have you ever laughed at someone who said, “I want to study because I love it”? Have you ever even met such a person?

After a high-risk second pregnancy and a 6-month maternity leave, my career hit an unexpected pause last year, and it took me time to find peace with that silence. It wasn’t easy. The hardest part? Accepting the “no-income” status. I applied to various companies, knowing fully well that I might not be able to take up a role if they asked me to come to the office—thanks to long commutes and Bangalore’s infamous traffic (yes, those stories are all true).

Eventually, I broke down. The silence from recruiters became unbearable. I stopped the job search and turned to yoga and meditation again, grounding myself in the present rather than constantly mourning what I didn’t have.

During that phase, I remember talking to my mother. I was venting about our finances and how hard it felt to not earn. My mother, always gentle, said, “It will all be fine. Don’t worry so much.” And I snapped back, “You don’t understand. You’ve never worked. You don’t know how it feels not to earn.” She didn’t argue. She just repeated her calming words.

Now, as I write this, I realize how unfair that was. She raised three children, cared for her in-laws, and managed a household that relocated every four years due to my father’s banking job. Isn’t that work? Just because there’s no paycheck, does that mean it isn’t valuable?

Over the generations, our lives have changed. Our lifestyles are more comfortable now dining out, owning cars, travelling. For most of us from middle-class backgrounds, education was sold as a path to jobs. “Study well so you can earn well.” True, but somewhere along the way, the focus shifted. If you're not earning, you're not considered successful. If you don’t take up science after 10th grade, you’re not seen as smart or ambitious.

This belief is especially tough on women. Because while women are capable professionals, they are also natural nurturers. And once a mother, always a mother. No matter how old the children. Many women step away from the workforce when their kids are young. Even if it’s a conscious decision, seeing that missing salary credit message each month can sting.

And here's the strange part is today, if you record your daily chores, package them as “content,” and post them online, you're considered productive, even entrepreneurial. Influencers showing what they cook, clean, or organize are celebrated. But if you do the exact same things quietly, without a camera or hashtags, you're just “at home”. The work hasn’t changed. Only its visibility has. And somehow, that visibility has become the marker of worth.

Years ago, I read an article by a famous writer where he praised his wife for continuing her job despite having children. He said he didn’t mind eating cold rotis because she was independent. At the time, I had just entered the workforce, and I admired the sentiment. But now, as a full-time mother, I wonder was she ever given the choice to pause her career if she had wanted to?

Many of us think women’s empowerment lies in earning. But I believe true independence is in having the freedom to choose, whether it's about how you earn, save, or spend. If you don’t have a say in how your money is used, then even earning it doesn’t feel liberating.

That’s why I say: just because you have degrees doesn’t mean you must work. It’s okay to stay at home if that’s what makes you happy. Wanting to keep your home neat, cook for your family, or take care of your children is not a lesser choice. It’s a valid, valuable one.

Every phase of a woman’s life brings new priorities. Sometimes, you want to work but can’t. Other times, you don’t want to work but must. Either way, there will be sacrifices. So, choose what’s right for you in that moment and stand by that choice without guilt.

Be kind to yourself. And next time someone compliments you on your cooking, your child’s manners, or even how you draped your saree accept it with a smile. No disclaimers. No guilt. You deserve it.